An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
Okay ladies, this one is for us. Many times what I write is very general and can be enjoyed be everyone. Today, however, I feel the need to have a good heart to heart with you.
How many of you had no idea what you were doing when you got married? Go ahead, you can raise your hand. I know I am raising mine. When I married my husband 13 years ago, I was so love struck and young. From the time I was a little girl I had dreamed of finding the man of my dreams, getting married, and having babies of my own. I would imagine that most little girls do this. This in and of itself was not a mistake. Where I messed up was when I did not stop to consider what each of those positions would require from me. I did not take the time to prepare myself for the task ahead.
Most of the time, when trying something for the first time, we take the time to prepare and make sure we are equipped for the task at hand. If you are going to run a marathon do you wait until the day of the race to find running shoes and begin to run? No! That would be crazy. You start months, maybe even years, in advance and train. You begin small and run short distances. You train and practice for the big race to come. If you are going to cook a meal, do you just walk in the kitchen and begin to cook? No. You prepare. You first decide what you are going to cook and then you find a recipe for it. You make sure you have all the ingredients. You get everything in order and you follow your recipe.
Why then do we as young women believe that we can just jump into marriage without being prepared?
When I married my husband I am sad to admit that I did not pray about it first. I did not seek God’s will for my life. I did not search my Bible to find out what kind of woman God wanted me to be. Somehow I fooled myself into thinking that I had it all figured out. I would be a natural, just like June Clever. How hard could it be? I would cook, and clean. I would eventually have a few children. Life would be perfect. It did not take me long to realize that I was wrong. I had no idea what it meant to be a submissive wife, or what it meant to let my husband be the head of our household. I had no idea how to make the day-to-day decisions that came with being a wife. On top of that, we decided to start a family right away. Within nine months of marriage, I was already a new mom. So, not only was I trying to be the perfect wife, even though I had no idea what that meant, but I was also now trying to be the perfect mom. Can I just tell you that I was headed for disaster?
It took me quite a few years of struggling to be June Clever before I realized that I was failing miserably. What was I doing wrong? All those years as a little girl, I had dreamed of this day and now that it was finally here I was a wreck. Why? Because I had not prepared. Sure, my mom had taught me to cook and clean. She had taught me how to carry a baby on my hip while shopping for groceries. Looking back, she had even tried to warn me about getting married before I was ready, before I had searched for God’s will for my life. But, I was young and did not realize the wisdom in her words until much later in life.
So, when did things begin to get better for our family? It was when I submitted my life to God and admitted that I was not June Clever. Our marriage began to improve when I committed to being that submissive wife that God wanted me to be. Our lives began to improve the day I realized that I needed to trust my husband and let him step up as the man of our household. Our whole life together changed the day that I committed to pray for my marriage, my husband, and our children every day. You see, I put my priorities in order. I allowed God to show me what it meant to be a Godly wife and mother. I allowed God to teach me that I did not need to be June Clever to be a good woman. God taught me, through His word, that He had equipped me with all the things I needed to be a good wife, mother, and woman. When I messed up was when I tried to do it on my own.
Do we still have our struggles? Yes. Do I still mess up on a daily basis as a mom and a wife? Yes. But, God is faithful in extending his grace and mercy to me every day. With God’s help I am learning what it means to be the woman He wants me to be. It is my desire every day to be more like the woman I read about in Proverbs 31, and less like the women I see on television.
Ladies, let me encourage you today. Whether you are preparing for marriage or have been married for fifty years, God wants to help you grow. He wants to teach you what it means to be a submissive wife. God wants to teach you to be that precious jewel in the life of the man who God has planned for you.
To you ladies who are not yet married, I want to encourage you to take the time to seek God first in your life. Allow God to lead you to the man who you are to marry, and then take the time to prepare for that marriage. Take the time to read your Bible and find out what kind of woman God wants you to be. Learn what it means to be a submissive wife. Learn what it means to be a Proverbs 31 woman.
To the lady who can, in agreement, nod her head and say, “Yes, I have learned that too,” I want to say to you, “Good job.” You are well on your way to being the woman God wants you to be. Stay committed to Him and His word. Cover your family and your marriage in prayer daily. God wants to bless your family and He will, if you will seek Him in all that you do.
To the lady that may be reading this thinking that this can never happen in your marriage and in your life, let me reassure you that it absolutely can. No marriage is too far gone that God can not mend it. No family is too torn apart that God can not put the pieces back together. I want to encourage you to commit to pray for your family every day. Seek God first, and ask Him to help you become the woman He intended for you to be. Ask God to bless your family and to mend the broken pieces. Yes, it is going to take some work, but God is faithful. He will mend the broken pieces and He can help your marriage and your family to grow if you will allow it.